Coming out of hibernation

I've been meaning to come back to this space for the past few days now; it's always been on my mind but I never really got to do it. I guess now is the time, as I sit with my legs crossed on the floor, laptop resting on my lap, my back leaning on the wall. 

I know it in myself that when things are good, I tend to just live in the moment and not care so much about the documentation. Whenever I do think about it though, I do the bare minimum of writing some details down on my journal. Sometimes it's just a sentence, most times it's a rambling paragraph so I won't forget. 

Today I attended our office town hall virtually via Zoom. They spoke of plans to return to office, and there was even a virtual tour of how the office looks like now. It made me think of the past 2 years, as if I underwent hibernation (I say hibernation as it was hard to find significantly remarkable events during this time). It's still surreal, as I tried to welcome the reality that some day soon, we'll be easing back into in-person work. 

Nothing comes to mind immediately when I think of the 2 years that went by, but I'm sure you'd agree that it would be unlike any of the other years we've lived through. I realize though, that I'm thankful I documented most, if not all, the things I've done, learned, and experienced in this blog. It's where I go back to when I somehow feel lost or I just need to remind myself of things I already know.

Reading through my older entries reminded me of the struggles I faced when the pandemic started. Although of course I didn't rant openly on here, writing everything else helped me cope. I was drowning myself with work and felt the need to always be available online. The amount of work and the pressure I placed upon myself made me feel like I aged plus ten years haha. I think the most significant change is how I've become more conscientious. I feel it in my bones, the need to be on top of everything. I would attribute this mostly with the work environment wherein I'm surrounded by highly driven professionals who are always at the top of their game. I needed to keep up and maintain a strong work ethic. 

Then eventually I realized that working too much and resting too little was not sustainable, so I started taking more time off. It was during this time that I learned the value of taking time off and being comfortable with it. I also learned to unplug and disconnect from my screen from time to time. It was hard, as it was my means for connection to the outside world, but I had to. 

It was during my times offline when I'd tune in to myself and my hobbies. Tuning into myself meant being real with what I felt at the time. Hobbies kept me going, and it still does; I think whenever I'm fully engaged in something I truly love and enjoy, this is where my true and authentic self thrives. So I keep creating, I keep doing, and being and sharing to everyone and anyone about the things I love doing. I'd like to think that we find strength in knowing more about ourselves and our gifts, and we further nurture it by imparting it to others. 

Then eventually I started crafting my routines. I started becoming a full fledged morning person by sleeping early and waking up early. I started going out for more walks. Walking has always been the one activity that kept me sane. I've gone on many walks way back when I was a teenager, but didn't have the time when I entered college, and most definitely did not take as much of them when I started working. 

But now I walk as much as I can; it has led me to meeting new people, it made me more observant of my surroundings, and it made me grateful to be where I am. Who knew that there was so much beauty right here, from where I live? Chance encounters keep us going. 

What will I keep from this two year hibernation? I would definitely keep them all--  the genuine connections, walking, waking up early, hobbies, taking notes of the small but certain happiness.. they are the stuff of life. I know these things will still be worth my while. 

I hope to be more open as well. I need to switch off my work brain when my work shift has ended, and just simply.. be open to anything else that could happen. 

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Thank you for reading my ramblings. I wish you a good morning or night, wherever you are : - )

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