Looking back at old artworks

 

One of the things I was happy to take my time with and genuinely enjoy during my holiday break was deep cleaning. I do get to clean almost every day, in small ways such as sweeping the floor or wiping crumbs off my work desk, but deep cleaning is reserved mostly for when I have more time to sit down and intentionally evaluate the things I want to keep or throw out.  

In our home, we have a cabinet which stores our important files. My space within that cabinet consists of notebooks, organization IDs from when I was actively taking on extra curricular projects, handouts, and pieces of yellow pad paper with scribbled notes and random drawings, all from college. They were, at some point, important to me. After college, I wanted to save them all up in one space in case I needed to have something to look back at, or maybe if one day I decide to pursue further studies, I could find them helpful.

But I find that as years passed, I had second thoughts on whether I really needed all these things. And so whenever I have the chance, whenever I have days off or a holiday comes by, I take some time to open the cabinet and look through everything. 

Each time felt like looking back at my former self through my notes and through the organization IDs I collected. They were like shiny trophies, some kind of proof that I was achieving a lot and I was actively taking on leadership roles within those student-led organizations.. Now, I have come to the conclusion that I had so much energy before, and I wanted to live my student life beyond just studying. That, to me, was important.

All that energy spent on organizations was a training ground of sorts, in a way because they have shaped me into who I am today, as cliche as it sounds. But now as a young professional, more than just the productivity and achievements, I hope to also enjoy and be present. Instead of focusing so much on the results, on the hiring targets, I also hope I get to enjoy the collaboration and the learnings.

Among these files though, is a folder that I know I will not be letting go of, and which I have been adding more works to lately. It is my "artwork folder", which holds all my paintings, drawings, and the like. All the things that I've made with these hands, thought with my mind, during those study breaks or weekends at home, they are all here...

This one.. I accidentally messed it up, but I still like it for some odd reason I can't point out

I've had this Bambi phase wherein I drew deer in forests, quite a lot of times

I also had a succulent phase, from when I was entrusted my very own cactus plant to take care of.

The theme of my drawings and paintings from then till now remains the same, which is nature. Lots and lots of green... and they're actually not so bad. I think back from when I was making these, and I had no particular goal in mind; just make what I like. 

In the midst of all the hustle and bustle of the previous chapters of my life, was time for art. The same holds true today, still making art, and this time with a new found love for oil pastels.

Though it seems the one thing that's changed from before is that, my space in the cabinet now holds more artworks than it has ever held previously, and these to me are the most important. 

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