On making lots of art(with doubts) in October

I've always wanted to participate in an art challenge, though I never really did it. I knew these challenges would come around in October each year, yet for me, it would always either be: it would slip my mind and I would feel it's too late to join, or I wasn't sure I would be able to finish or be consistent with it until the end.

This year is different, though. I felt like this time around, time was finally on my side, and I could definitely dedicate a part of my day in making art. If I were to recall my October days and describe them, you would find me coloring away with my oil pastels right after work. I chose to make art after work because it helped me transition my thoughts from work to something entirely different, and something that I was creating with my own hands. Setting aside time after work has also helped me be more consistent, because it was something I looked forward to everyday.

I have to admit though that there were days when I've had to skip, but I decided to be kind to myself and simply catch up. There were times when I've had a lot going on with my full time work, and I would have no energy or inspiration to think of what to draw or how to interpret the daily prompt, and that was perfectly fine. The last thing I wanted to do was to force myself to make something for the sake of being consistent. I always remind myself of my intention and purpose in why I started in the first place: I wanted to fill my days with colors. 

Which is why I chose to work with oil pastels, since I could create bright and colorful illustrations through this medium without giving it much thought. It takes me back to my younger days of filling in coloring books with my sister, though we were using crayons. Being free to explore and experiment with colors now brings me much comfort.

I followed along Annabelle's (CatCreature on YT!) prompts with the hashtag #artwithdoubts on Instagram. At first, I thought it felt different from other prompt names, but later on it started to make sense for me. "Art With Doubts" reflects our struggles, since it can be easy to be clouded with so much doubts whenever we make something. 

I've had my moments wherein I would show my art first to my sister, or my mom, or a friend, simply to ask their opinion about it and tell them, "I'm having doubts!". Then we do a bit of a feedback session-- "Put some more color here", "I think this would look better in a lighter shade", those were the kinds of comments I received, and openly worked on. This is the point though of the whole thing, isn't it? We have doubts but we keep making and sharing anyway. 

Once in an art class back in grade school, a classmate caught me staring at their artwork. It was a habit of mine; I loved looking at other people's drawings, much like how one would admire paintings exhibited in a museum. They looked back at me and realized I was looking intently at their work. They quickly covered it with their hands, and I asked why they had to do that. "You're making fun of my drawing, aren't you?" they assumed. I smiled and told them that it was quite the contrary; I just simply enjoyed looking at other people's creations, because we all see and process things differently. 

I guess it's only natural to feel that someone out there might make fun of us, which could contribute to our doubts. We focus so much on the thought of being made fun of, and drown out any possibility of someone actually appreciating the art we make. The mind is always preparing us for the worst, that we forget about what could go right. 

It also was definitely helpful, when I found myself in a community that carried the same feelings as I did. We all used the hashtag #artwithdoubts and it was one that I would check from time to time. I enjoyed seeing other people's art which were often linked to personal experiences or objects that held meaning to them as explained in their captions. 

Although most of the Instagram accounts there were purely for art dumping purposes, you'd be delighted to find a kindred soul from time to time, sharing a bit about themselves and why they chose to draw things the way they did. It's definitely a great feat, to think that throughout the 31 days, we may have developed our own style, or further enhanced it. No matter how you looked at it, there was progress and growth.

What's next from here? 

More art! ; - ) more colors, more nature, more of what keeps us going, and maybe that's not limited to art. May it be whatever that brings you most joy, may there be more of it.

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This weekend is a long one for me, as it is a public holiday tomorrow in Manila, and for Japan on Tuesday. I have the liberty of taking these two days off, and it is indeed rewarding. My plan... is to have no plans and do what feels right to do at the moment. :-) 

All artworks featured here are from my Art Instagram!

Have a lovely Sunday, dear reader. 

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